especially grateful today for the people in my life / tribe who value and pursue knowing and growing themselves as the source and bedrock for knowing and growing relationships with other people and help illustrate the subtle, but important, difference between codependency and interdepedency.
It was this time last year that stuff started to get rocky with Jean-Guy, right as I came onto New Company. I have spent a lot of the year frustrated and not always happy with the level or quantity of work I’ve been producing, but yet, every two months or so, my director drops a line to let me know how much positive feedback he’s received about me from my manager, my design manager, and before I was lead on this project (which, I should be more congratulatory of myself in general for– I am lead of a pretty massive, both in terms of volume and priority for our group, project after a year here. That’s really something I should give myself more credit for), my project lead.
When Jean-Guy and I separated and that first week was so hard, I waffled on what to do or say and finally told my manager who told my director. Everyone in my team has been so supportive and wonderful. My director checks in on me to make sure life is looking up and I’m taking care of myself at least once a month. He’s a busy dude. He doesn’t have to do that.
It’s so incredible and I’m so lucky to be in an organization that cares so strongly about every single member on a personal and professional level. Designing the ever hated automated call centers is perhaps not the sexiest of jobs, but Director, Manager and Design Manager, and all the rest of my UI management is so wonderful at making it clear that our job satisfaction and keeping us happy and inspired and willing to work is a priority, and a big one at that.
One year on and I’m really not kidding when I say that I would follow my management anywhere. I love this company. How often do you hear people who genuinely say and mean that and hope to stay at the same company for decades anymore? You don’t.
The details of what I’m doing don’t matter to me nearly as much feeling supported and like my managers care about making sure that I’m advancing in a way that’s meaningful to me.
Today, despite me feeling like there’s a lot more I can, should and want to give my job, my director checked in to tell me how pleased and EXCITED he is about the work that I’ve done and the momentum I’ve gained in just my first year. I need to remember to give myself grace and remember that, as it’s always been, I’m my harshest critic.
And every totally unexpected check-in from Director is a reminder at how far I’ve come in the month that’s preceded it.
Yeah, Jean-Guy and I didn’t work out. Yeah, separating was one of the hardest, most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through.
But it was also the right choice and that fact becomes clearer every day. I get stronger and more confident and more self assured in who I am, who I want to be and where I want to go with each new day.
By the end of the year, I’ll hopefully have bought a house. I have an awesomely supportive family, truly incredible friends, AMAZING dogs without whom I don’t know what I would have done, a wonderful mentor in dog training, and a career which continues to prove to be promising and fulfilling both professionally and personally.
Jean-Guy or no, I’m lucky and life is awesome.