some mornings are hard. you’d think i’d have the pattern memorized by now. sudden cranky day, oh that was yesterday. almost always followed by sad day, that’s today. although, today’s sad day isn’t sad about jean-guy. it’s sad and wondering when i’ll get to make my own family. jean-guy wasn’t the right family. i know that down deep to my core, so today i’m not sad that i don’t have him. i also know that right now i don’t even really need or want a partner, let alone a child. but i know i do sometime in the future and some days the fear and the worry gets under your skin, even when i know it’s misplaced. i’ll find and have both when the time is right. when i’m ready.
some days, though, the uncertainty is a little bit harder to take in stride than others.