This is a project I’ve been mulling over for weeks, and have been putting off until post-graduation. Well, I say fuck it. My brain’s been running wild with ideas, and I’m beginning to remember what it feels like to have so much creative energy that I can’t do anything without relieving it first.
It’s going to be messy. I haven’t written seriously in ages. Especially creatively. Thoughtful essays are by far my preferred style and, while there will certainly be a fair amount of those here, it’s time to PLAY.
I remember in elementary and middle school when I would write for the sheer thrill of bringing my ideas to life, delighting over interesting turns of phrase. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with literature, and learned to be afraid.
As a child, anything is possible. Then you grow up & get acquainted with real talent, usually when you’re most insecure.
I stopped writing with the conviction I could never possibly be as good as the greats, so why try?
Well, 15 year old me, I call bullshit on your ass.
Even so, these last 9 years haven’t been for nothing. I’ve read wonderfully inspiring prose. Prose that leaves my fingers itching for a pen.
I had to learn humility and appreciation for the greats, and I’m glad I did.
But now it’s time to play — and acknowledge that unlike before it won’t be fearless. But that’s okay — fear can be defeated.
I also let go of the worry of audience. There is a small circle of people I might (read: probably will) allow to read this, but this exercise in experimentation is mostly my own. Should anything further come of it, I’ll find a penname.
I don’t even know if authors still use those, but one of my biggest hindrances lately has been a feeling of self-censorship of content, not wanting friends & family to read too much into my works, and not wanting to worry about them uncovering something about me & my life I would rather remained buried.
But I also don’t want to have forbidden topics. I need to be free in my experiments.
And what are those experiments?
* Short Stories
I am interested in playing with both form & content so both work together to convey an idea or theme.
I will write in pen & may return to and rewrite pieces @ any point. This is to preserve the evolution & process.
I will make notes on parts I like & don’t like & why, as well as what I was trying to achieve.
Finally, I will discuss fears, anxieties & joys surrounding the process and experimentation as I go.
It’s time to let go of the fear.
It’s time to be what I’ve always wanted.
Warts and all.